Struck By Lightning
by Lil' Ass Kicker
Summary: Crossover of BTVS and A&A. Taken from book and film of Struck by lightning (By Chris Colfer). None of the original plots from BTVS or A&A are in this. The real plot of SBL. I donnot own A&A, BTVS or SBL. Pairings: Xander & Buffy and Austin & Ally. :P


_**Hiya! I know I've been doing A LOT of storys at the moment but I REALLY wanted to do Struck by lightning! It's my absolute FAV movie and book EVER! I 3 Chris Colfer and EVERYONE in the books. **_

_**This will be a WITTLE (Yes, I meant to say wittle) bit different. And YESH this IS a crossover for Buffy and Austin & Ally. By the way pairings are MY choice. If you don't like them then just pretend their friends with benifits or somethin'. Kay? Plus: Hinkley Strate school is where they go.**_

_**I donnot own A & A, Buffy: The vampire slayer or Struck by lightning.**_

_**The people are.. ( They will keep their names from their TV shows.) **_

**Buffy= Carson Phillips ( Chris Colfer) **

**Ally= Claire Matthews (Cheerleader who shits cupcakes out of her ass.) **

**Austin= Justin Walker ( Dumb-ass football leader.) **

**Xander = Malerie Baggs (Boy form of her. More then friends then Buffy. Unlike the book or film) **

**Willow = Remy Baker (High strung yearbook manager) **

**Giles= Principal Gifford ( School principal. Anger management issues!) **

**Cordillia = Mrs Sharpton ( Clueless guidance counselor) **

**Lester (Dawson) = Neal Phillips (Absent father of Buffy)**

**Mrs Summers (Joyce) = Sheryl Phillips ( Buffy's alcoholic, pill popping mother who doesn't want her to leave home.) **

**Trish (De La Rosa) = Vicki Jordan (Gothic student in Buffy's writers club.) **

**Dez (Unknown) = Nicholas Forbes (Wealthy closeted gay student.) **

**Larry (Buffy: The vampire slayer character) = Scott Thomas (Drama club leader. Closeted gay with Dez) **

**Penny (Dawson) = Apirl Phillips (Pregnant fianceé of Neal Phillips.) **

**Spike = Dwayne Micheal's (Pothead of Hinkiley Strate school.)**

**Angel = Emilio Lopez (Fornicating exchange student) **

**Cassidy = Grandmother (Buffy's grandmother. I ran out of people okay!) **

**Oz = Coach Colin Walker (Justin's brother. Coach of football team)**

_**Pairing's **_

_**Buffy and Xander = Couple. Dating. **_

_**Austin and Ally = Dating. Couple. (She cheats with his brother once.) **_

_**On with the intro...**_

_Dear journal, _

_One more year with this shitheads and then I'll be free. It's taken almost two decades of careful planning, but I'm proud to say my overdue departure from the town Clover is only DAY'S away. Three hundred and fourty five days ,to be exact, but who's counting? _

_A year from now I'll be sitting in my dorm room at Northwestern University taking notes from some over priced textbook about 'the history of...' you know, something historical. I'll be living off Top Ramen and Red Bull. I'll barely be getting five hours of sleep at night, and thats only when I don't have to yell at my roomate to turn down her porn. _

_I know it doesn't sound like much to look forward too, but for this college- bound kid, it's paradise! All the suffering, now and later, is for a much bigger picture. It's not much of a secret since I tell anyone who will listen (mostly to get them to stop talking to me) but one day I hope I become the youngest freelance journalist published in the New York times, the Los Angeles times, the Chicago Tribune and the Boston globe, eventually making my way to editor of the New Yorker. _

_Yes I know that was a lot of information so take a minute if you need one. It sounds overwhelming to you, just think how I'll feel living up to my future self everyday. It's exhausting! _

_In a decade, if all goes according to plan, things will be SO much better for me. I can see it now: I'll be sitting in my New York City appartment applying the fianal touches to my weekly New York times colomn. I'll be living off Thai food and bottles of the finest red wine. I'll be sleeping at least ten hours a night, even when I have to yell at my neighbor to turn down their porn. _

_Granted, I still have a year to go at high school, and senior year at that. And I do realize I haven't actually been "accepted" into Northwestern yet, but those are just minor technicalities. Since we're on the subjuect, I should also mention that I'm well aware Northwestern doesn't send out acceptance letters until December 15, but, fearing that I may apply somewhere else, I'm sure they've made an exception for me. I'm positive that my acceptance letter is on it's way from the admissions office and will soon be in my eager hands as I write this... right? _

_I wouldn't be surprised if I was the first applicant. I stayed up half the night to submit my application as soon as the admissions website opened at 6 am. Chicago time on my first day . Now just a waiting game... and waiting has never been my forte. _

_I can't imagine why they wouldn't accept me. When they read my transcripts they'll see I'm a very liberal-minded young woman in a very obstinate world begging to be rescued by means of education: a diamond in a pile of cow shit, if you will. _

_That and the fact that I'm one- sixteenth Native American and one- thirty second African American (Okay that I can't actually prove) should make me an admissions jackpot! _

_Even if that doesn't work, my high school career should speak for itself. I've kept my grade point average at an impressive 4.2 since Freshman year. I've single handedly edited the Clover High Chronicle since sophmore year, and I've managed to keep the writers club alive after school despite it's apparent death wish. _

_Not bad for a kid in a town where the most common intellectual question is, Will he actually eat the green eggs and ham? _

_I'm kidding (sort of). Look, I don't mean to consitantly harp on my hometown. I suppose Clover has some good qualities too... I just can't think of any off the top of my head. _

_Clover is a place where the pockets are small but the minds are even smaller. It's tiny and conservative, and most of the people are really set on living and dying here. Personally, I've never been able to hop on the band-wagon and have been publicity chastised because of it. Having aspirations to leave makes me the black sheep of the community. _

_I'm sorry; I just can't muster up pride for a town who's most cosmopolitain area is the Taco Bell parking lot on a Saturday night. And although I've never lived anywhere else, I'm pretty sure Sweet Sixteens don't consist of group cow- tipping. When they built the first movie theater here, people lost their damn minds. I was only three, but I still remember crying and cartwheeling in the streets. The line to You've got mail circled the town. _

_I pray we never get an airport - who knows what kind of cult - sacrificial suicides mights occur? _

_Yeah, I'm a little bitter because I'm one of __**those **__kids: bottom of the food chain, consistantly teased, despised, an annoyance to everyone around them, most likely to find a pile of manure on the roof of their car (oh yeah, it happened.), but what prevents my life from being a sad after- school special is I don't give a shiiiit. I can't reiterate enough, this town is full of morons! _

_Whenever my pen pals ask me 'Wheres Clover?' I am forced to say 'It's where the Grapes of wrath ended up." and thats just putting it nicely. _

_Lets be honest: Go to the middle of nothing and nowhere and make a left. It's one of those cities you pass along the side of a freeway, home to barely ten thousand citizens, that makes you ask yourself 'Who the fuck would live there?' Well if you've recently asked yourself this in a car, the answer is this fucker. Hi, I'm Buffy Summers, if I haven't introduced myself formally. _

_I read once that all great writers have issues with their hometowns; guess I'm no exception. You can't let your origins bring you down, though. You don't get to pick where your going. (Thats a good quote; I'll have to remember to say that if I'm ever recieving an honourary doctorate one day.) _

_But this all just just fuels my fire even more. Ever since I was eight years old and got asked "What do you want to be when your older?" and replied "The editor of the New Yorker.", the looks I'd receive after the declaration- as if I had said 'dragon slayer' or 'transvestite golfer'- always pushed me a little closer to a metaphoric exit sign. _

_Perhaps thats why my issues started at such a young age. I was constantly shot down by nit- wits who couldn't think outside the box- especially in elementerary school, aka the first place they try to brain wash you in a small town. _

_I remember my first- grade teacher was giving a lesson on subtraction. _

_"When one thing takes another away, wheat do we call that?" she asked my class. _

_"Homicide!" I called out, so proud of myself._

_I wasn't tecnically wrong, but the look she gave me for the following three minutes made it appear that way._

_The same year we had a founding fathers day, and I remember it like it was yesterday. I walked to the front of the classroom, clutching th report I had spent hours on, and told the class everything I had learnt._

_"Most of the founding fathers were closeted homosexuals and slave owners." I said. Needless to say, I wasn't allowed to finish the report. _

_That day after school was the first day my parents were called in for a "meeting". It was the beginning of the complex relationship I have with the public educational system. _

_"He's eccentric so what?" My mum told the teacher. _

_"Mrs. Summers, your six year old daughter told her class that the presidents who founded this nation were homosexuals slave owners." the teacher said. "I'd say that's more then eccentric behavior." _

_"That might have been my fault." my dad said. "She asked me for a funny fact about the founding fathers, so I gave her one."_

_"She was asking for a FUN FACT you dipshit!" Mum scolded him. "No wonder she's having trouble in school. Her fathers a moron!" _

_"Actually Mrs. Summers, on the first day of school she introduced herself as Buffy Carson Summers because __**you **__told her that Jonny Carson was on the TV when she was... __**concived**__." _

_To this date, I've never seen my mother gulp so hard. _

_"Oh," she said. "Well, I take full responsability for that one." _

_That was the last time my parents were seen in public together. As you may have guessed, I'm one of those cynical kids from a broken home, too. _

_Until I was ten and saw friends parents interact, I never realised that people got married because they wanted to, because they loved each other. I had always thought it was more like jury duty: you got an envelope telling you when, where and who you were required to reproduce with. _

_There was about as much love between Joyce and Lester Summer's as there was between the squid and whale. At least they had a entire ocean to share and not a three- bedroom, two bathroom suburban home. _

_I'm pretty sure their wedding vows went something like this: _

_"Lester and Joyce, do you take each other as your awfully selected spouse; to reprimand and scold from this day forward; for better but mostly worse, in counseling and in therapy, in anger and in frustration, to hate and then resent; from this day forward until death that you cause?" _

_Maybe at one point they did love each other, or thought they did. But once you reach a certain age in Clover all thats left to do is get married and have kids. It may not have been the best idea,but it was what was expected of them, and they were victims of pressure. _

_My mum was definitley in it for the long haul, always trying to make things work between them. Their marriage was a constant pattern: My dad was un-happy, my mum tried to fix it, my dad was still un-happy, my mum resented trying to fix it, there would be a massive arguement and the cycle would begin again. _

_Unfortunately my dad didn't want it to work; he wanted out as soon as he got in. _

_At one point my mum quit her job as a receptionist because my dad was, and I quote 'tired of picking up Buffy from that fucking school." Not that his job as a real esatate kept working late; he just tried avoiding as much fatherly responsibility as a priest in a whorehouse. (Sorry, super proud of myself for that reference.) _

_Sometimes I swear I can still hear them yelling in the kitchen. Whether it was over a missing fifty bucks in their checking account or just a dish left in the sink, from nine to ten o' clock every night they were sure to be arguing. At least something in my life was consistant in my childhood. _

_Our next door neighbors used to watch from over the fence every night. I tried selling them popcorn one time but they didn't go for it. _

_Our Titanic of a family sank deeper and deeper as time went on. But in a sick way, I'm almost glad it did. In my desperate attempts to escape it, I was led to the greatest discovery ever: __**words**__. I was fascinated by them. There were so many! I could tell a story, I could write about my day, I could write about the day I wish I'd of had instead... It was an endless power! _

_Things with my parents came to a peak after my Grandpa died. Grandma came to live with us a year later when she was diognosed with Alzhimers. She had always been my champion and savoir, thats why it was so hard to watch her slowly fade away. Even as a kid I knew something was wrong. _

_Our neighbors used to find her wandering the streets looking for the car parked she didn't even have anymore. _

_"This is the third time they've found her wandering the streets." Dad said to Mum one night at nine o'clock. _

_"She just gets a little confused and forgets what the house looks like," Mum said. "What your excuse?"_

_"I'm serious, Joyce." Dad said. "Either she goes or I do." _

_It was the first time I've ever seen my mother speachless. _

_I helped her pack Grandma's things the next day. Although she was getting more and more sencile each day, Grandma knew what was happening the day we put her in Clover Assisted Living Home. She was very quiet and kept to herself. Mom did too, the guilt I suppose. _

_"Why are you moving?" I asked Grandma._

_"Because the people here are going to take good care of him." she told me. _

_"Can't I take good care of you?" I asked. _

_"I wish, honey." Grandma said, and stroked my hair. _

_I felt so helpless, but I tried cheering her up in the best way I knew possible. _

_"I wrote you a story." I said, handing her a paper. _

_"Oh? Let see." she said ,and took it from me. _

_"Once upon a time, there was a boy." She stopped reading- not because she wanted to, that was just all I had written. _

_"Well, it's a lovely story, but it could use some development." She smiled. _

_"Mum said I could visit you everyday after school." I told her. "I can bring you a new story every day!" _

_She smiled. "I'd like that." She said. To this date, I've never missed a day._

_Despite my mothers final attempts at making her marriage work, Dad eventually left when I was ten. _

_The whole neighbor-hood remembers that night. It was the series fianle of the __**Joyce and Lester Show**__ and started at nine on the dot and stretched into the early hours of the morning. _

_"You can't leave now! We just started going back to counselling!" She screamed. _

_"I can't spend another second in that house!" He yelled back at her. _

_He drove off, tire screeching, into the night. Mum ran after his car and screamed, "Go! You can't come back! I hate you! I hate you!" She collaposed in the front yard and cried histerically for another hour. _

_(Unpopular opinion: Your story is only sad until you start making money off it. Then I no longer feel sorry for you.) _

_Well, I think my life story is enough of an entry for one night. I was originally skeptical about this whole journalling thing, but now I see how theraputic it can get . I seriously feel less stressed then when I started than when I started. I'm really calm and centered and- Oh shit, it's midnight and I still have Algebra 2 homework! Gotta Go!_

**So what do ya'll think? Leave a review! :D **


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